SECOND COMING By Jacquie LaVa MSR, G, Babyfic, a little humor Disclaimers, spoilers: Clones on Loan with nary a Spoiler Written for Fando's "Baby" challenge, and in honor of Tali's recent little bundle of baby-boy-joy! Thanks to Carol for lightning-fast once-over - Notes: I cannot believe I wrote a "G" fic. Has to be a first, or maybe a second... hee! Challenge elements listed at the end - "Second Coming" Nothing about this delivery has been easy or has gone smoothly. She wonders why she thought a second labor would be more of a joy than the first one. Granted, William's birth occurred under extreme circumstances, but hope does tend to spring eternal. "Here, honey. Try to eat a little more. It'll feel good on your dry throat." Her mother offers another spoonful of lemon ice cream and Scully turns her face away, fretful and cranky and all-around miserable. She hates feeling this way, hates being the weak, whiny one. Well, she's entitled... after eleven hours of labor added onto being twelve days late going into said labor, she's entitled to a hell of a lot. "Mom, if I eat another bite I'll gag. I hate lemon, anyway. Couldn't you have found some 'Cherry Garcia?'" Whining again. God, she sounds like a petulant thirteen-year old. She voices it aloud and catches the edges of a chuckle at her left ear, as Mulder brushes the damp hair off her forehead. "Now that's a sight I'd have loved to have seen... Dana Scully, thirteen years old and petulant." In this case, Mother knows best. "No, you would NOT have wanted to see it, Fox. Trust me. She was a little brat. Middle children are often the worst, especially girls. Dana didn't start to act like a human being until she was, oh... maybe twenty." "MOM! Whose side are you on, any - ohhh, ahhh, OUCH!" Maggie Scully pats her daughter's roiling, distended belly. "At the moment, my granddaughter's, if she ever decides to show her little head." A glance at her watch and Maggie declares, "Five minutes, Dana. You've got a ways to go." "Oh, thank you VERY much for keeping me apprised of the situation, Mom." "Cranky, cranky, cranky..." Mulder kisses Scully's temple and stifles another chuckle when she glares in his direction. She's bloated, sweaty, stringy-haired and pop-eyed from hours of contractions. She's a mess from trying to expel their child. He loves her so much that he aches. He doesn't mind the nails that bite into his hand every time she begins another contraction. It doesn't bother him that the shock of breaking water all over their sofa startled her so badly that her arm swung out and knocked his laptop to the floor. He'd been sitting next to her, downloading a file with his brand-new IMac balanced on his knees. He swore softly under his breath at the ruined computer but never said another word. He'd merely gathered her into his arms and carried her to the bathroom, cleaned her up and had taken her to the hospital. She'd contracted, cursed and cried the entire way. That's been acceptable behavior, too. Anything she feels the need to do or say is fine; his daughter is on her way out and Mulder wants to give the mother of his child the absolute world. That said, he's still worried. Not that the labor has gone on for eleven hours; he knows enough about childbirth to understand these things often take time. He's mostly concerned that when the time actually comes, Scully may be seriously lacking the strength she'll need to push their daughter out. He mentions this in a low voice to Maggie, and she nods distractedly as she presses another damp cloth to Scully's brow. "Well, it's definitely possible. I remember how long it took me to deliver Charlie. It seemed like forever, but in fact was only about thirty hours." She smiles at the look of complete horror passing over Mulder's face, and hastens to add, "I know that sounds like a lot! But hours and hours of it was nothing more than low backache and indigestion, truly. We'd gone to this Indian restaurant for dinner a couple of nights before and I was still burping up curry spice. I thought the cramps I felt were left over from what I'd eaten. But I probably only had perhaps ten hours of hard labor, and I remember squeezing my husband's fingers until I just about broke them." She glances down at Scully, who has fallen into a weary doze, and nods in approval. It's best that she sleep a little, she'll need all her strength very shortly. Stroking her daughter's tangled hair, Maggie confides, "I was close but no cigar, so to speak. Charlie just did not want to come out. My doctor finally had to resort to drastic measures; he told Bill that I needed some kind of shock to my system, and that would help the final birthing process." Mulder's eyebrows crinkle into a confused frown. "Shock?" Maggie smiles and nods again. "Yes. He said I could either be startled, or made to belly-laugh. Bill chose to startle me; apparently he was fresh out of knock-knock jokes. He had the doctor time the next contraction and waited until I was almost ready for another one. He crouched down next to the delivery table so that I couldn't see him; then he jumped up and screamed, 'OOOGA-BOOGA!' as loud as he could. Not only did he render me temporarily deaf in one ear but I actually jumped, he'd startled me so bad. Well, like magic I had this huge contraction, and out flew Charlie." Mulder laughs aloud as he tries to picture it in his mind. "So, you're saying a shock will make our little kidlet rock?" "You never know. It's worth a try. Got any ideas? Any knock-knock jokes?" Mulder thinks for a moment; then flashes Maggie a mischievous grin and replies, "Not a one! But I suppose I could strip down to my boxers and dance on the next bed, do a quick little booty-shake. I'm wearing my "What? Me Worry" undies today." "Your what?" Mulder helpfully supplies, "They're florescent green with a picture of Alfred E. Neumann on the front and the words, "Kiss My Face" written on the back. Scully hasn't seen them yet; I was going to surprise her..." A hoarse laugh, followed by a reluctantly-amused voice floats over from the birthing table and they both spin around as Dana Scully, future mother of a dainty little girl-child, begs, "Lord help us all... not in front of the baby, Mulder." A grimace, and then a loud, "Oh, SHIT! OWWWW!!" And as an enormously hard and strong contraction rattles her body and she digs her nails into both her husband's and her mother's hands, an awestruck Mulder observes, "Never underestimate the power of mind imagery, Scully. Oh, look at that... I do believe we're having a baby!" end Challenge elements: Baby Boxers Curry Dead laptop Cranky Quick Easy Cherry Thanks for reading!