Title: Choo - Choo
Author:  Emily Sim
Email: xf_emily_sim@yahoo.ca
Spoilers: none
Rated: General/Mature for a couple of bad words
Notes: For the Fando Baby Challenge - hoping it gets 
one tardy soul born before mom is tempted to go in with 
pliers!
Thanks to xdks for quick and ever excellent beta
*******


Scully leaned back, both hands massaging her lower 
back. It wasn't working. She couldn't really reach to 
press hard enough. She tried leaning forward, but the 
bulk of the baby prevented that as well. She groaned in 
frustration. The last few days had left her cranky and 
tired. She found herself on an emotional rollercoaster, 
content one moment, only to dissolve into tears the 
next. It hadn't helped when early this morning her 
laptop had quit, right in the middle of the autopsy 
notes she was typing for the Richardson case. No amount 
of swearing or hitting worked. She was glad Mulder 
wasn't here to see that. He had forked over a great 
deal of cash for this one after the last one ended up 
in the bathtub. She still had to remind him that it 
wasn't her fault. If he hadn't opened the door and 
startled her everything would have been fine. Actually, 
if he hadn't brought home that awful Vegetable Kootu 
she wouldn't have been in the bathroom trying to finish 
her notes. Her nose wrinkled in remembrance; if she 
ever ate curry again it'd be a wonder. She sighed and 
pushed her notepad away. Doing the report by hand was 
tiring. Her hand ached and she hadn't realized how much 
she had come to depend on the spell check; not that she 
couldn't spell, it was just easier when she didn't have 
to worry about catching each little mishap. She would 
leave it until Mulder got home with his computer. 

She pushed the chair back, and with much huffing and 
puffing, managed to pull herself up. She didn't see how 
she could last another day considering the size she 
was. She was sick and tired of people commenting on it, 
the surprised looks on their faces when she plastered 
on a fake grin and said she still had four weeks to go. 
Next time, Mulder could have the baby. If she had one 
more stranger's hand groping her belly she was going to 
pull her gun; if she could reach it, that is. She was 
expected at the Hoover Building in less than an hour 
for a meeting with Skinner. Although he wouldn't expect 
the report yet, she was supposed to have filled out all 
her leave papers. 

She made her way to the bedroom and began rifling 
through her closet, trying to find something that 
didn't make her look like a beach ball. The only things 
she felt like wearing these days were what she had on: 
Mulder's undershirt and a pair of his boxers which had 
lost the elastic. Maybe she could throw that silly 
jumper Tara had lent her over the top and leave it at 
that. She pulled it out, took one look at the bunnies 
embroidered across the top and remembered why she 
wouldn't wear it. Why did every one assume pregnant 
women wanted bunnies and kittens plastered across their 
chests? It wasn't like the increase in size didn't 
already have everyone gawking. She sat down on the edge 
of the bed. Pants were out of the question; she 
couldn't bend enough to pull them up. Ditto for socks, 
or even her sandals. Her feet were so swollen she 
wasn't sure what she could get on. Great, she could put 
on the bunny jumper and go barefoot - barefoot and 
pregnant - it was like something out of a sitcom or a 
bad 50's movie. She shook her head. This, more than her 
elevated blood pressure, was why she'd been working 
from home the last few weeks. The loss of height when 
she had to put aside her heels had just about done her 
in. The only thing that had saved her from total 
humiliation was the beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo 
sandals Mulder had come home with that day. They were 
exquisite for something with no heel. He had bought her 
the cherry coloured ones instead of black or white or 
boring camel. They seemed to take the edge off the loss 
of heels. How he had known she was at the point she'd 
never know. She wondered if Kim had quietly told him 
about finding her crying in the upstairs washroom, 
shoes kicked off because she'd nearly taken a tumble 
over a loose carpet edge when she couldn't see over her 
expanding tummy. Agent Reese had been there to catch 
her in time, thankfully, but it was her undoing that 
day. 

She sighed and looked back to where she had thrown the 
bunny jumper. It seemed to be her one option right now, 
unless she wanted to give her fellow agents and Skinner 
something to talk about. Hell, she'd just throw the 
thing over what she had on and stuff her feet into the 
sandals. If she had to wear bunnies at least she was 
going to put the Choo's on even if her feet would spill 
over the sides. She managed to get herself upright and 
pull the jumper on. She ignored the mirror. At least if 
she didn't see herself she wouldn't be able to recall 
the humiliation. She found her sandals and scooped them 
out with her foot. Shoving her feet into them, she 
grabbed her keys and the papers sitting on the table. 
Now she just had to negotiate the car. It was a damn 
uncomfortable ride these days when she had to drive. 
Mulder did most of that now. The seat couldn't go 
forward as far as she needed it to, and she hated the 
stretch to reach the pedals. It made for a very tense 
drive when she had to do it, never feeling she was 
quite in control of the vehicle. She exited the 
building to find Mulder leaning against her car.

"Mulder?"

"The bunny jumper, Scully?" 

"Don't you start; what are you doing here anyway? I 
thought you had meetings all day?"

"I thought I could pick you up, save you the hassle -"

"Don't you dare say it, Mulder."

"-seeing as your little feet can't reach the pedals for 
real this time."

"Mulder --"

"Aw, come on Scully, it's -"

"Mulder, if you make one more crack like that -" the 
words were swallowed when his mouth covered hers.

"Not fair." She pulled back, a small smile trying to 
escape.

"I promise a pair of high heeled Choo's to make up for 
it."

"Boots. I want boots. Orchids."

"Orchids?"

"Four inches, in coffee."

"Okay."

"And the bag - I want the bag too."

"Yes, dear."

"It's called Opal. And don't call me dear."

"Sweetheart?"

"Yellow and brown, to match the boots, and no."

"Honey bunch?"

"Mulder."

"What can I say," he opened the passenger door and 
helped her in. "I know better than to argue with a 
pregnant woman wearing bunnies across her - Scully? Do 
they do that on purpose? Put those things there?"

"Shut up, Mulder."

End Notes:

Go here: http://www.jimmychoo.com/ to see Scully's 
shoes. The sandals are called "Park Flat" and I cheated 
and changed 'berry' to 'cherry' - hey, they're both 
fruits! The boots I have her pining for are called 
Orchids. What can I say - I have a shoe fetish. 

Challenge Elements:

Baby
Boxers
Curry
Dead laptop
Cranky 
Quick
Easy
Cherry

500 words or less - lost that one